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#designhorrorstories

over 7 years ago from , Product Designer

in the spirit of the holiday, post some #designhorrorstories here.

27 comments

  • Jordan KoscheiJordan Koschei, over 7 years ago (edited over 7 years ago )

    It was a dark and stormy night. Doctor Contentmarkëting, CMO of the Frankenstein Group™, stood inside the tallest tower of Castle Specwork and gazed upon his latest creation.

    It was a horrific assemblage of parts, scavenged from the darker corners of the internet. Code snippets without consistent indenting. A bit of PHP from a downvoted answer on StackOverflow. An entire interface comprised of unskinned jQuery UI components.

    “Why? Why would you do such a thing?” cried the doctor’s prisoner, a naïve young designer who’d had the gall to stand by his principles. His blue beanie hung lifelessly from his head. “This creation of yours is an atrocity.”

    “Is it? Or will it be one of the most effective lead generation tools the world has ever seen?”

    The prisoner shuddered as the doctor sewed yet another dark pattern into his unnatural brainchild — a free trial form that would automatically charge the user’s credit card as soon as the trial ended.

    “No, you can’t!”

    “Oh, but I can!” cackled the doctor. A Thunderbolt™ cracked overhead, as if for emphasis, as the evil genius added a Twitter sign-in form that would spam all the user’s friends.

    “But… but… I can’t even tell what platform this is going to be built on! Is that… Hubspot?”

    The doctor smiled his malevolent smile. “Better,” he said. “It’s Sharepoint.”

    [cut to black]

    35 points
  • Kai HuangKai Huang, over 7 years ago

    "Our designer also took a crack at it. Can we somehow combine the two?"

    13 points
    • E BensleyE Bensley, over 7 years ago

      Nothing beats coming off a three or four week project only to have the client come back with "My nephew made a version I really like, can you incorporate it? He did some design in high school"

      0 points
  • Samantha ZhangSamantha Zhang, over 7 years ago

    "Can you also make _____ above the fold?"

    It's not possible to put everything above the fold.

    12 points
  • Onkar Nath, over 7 years ago (edited over 7 years ago )

    Could you just add some #ux to the finished product

    9 points
  • Art VandelayArt Vandelay, over 7 years ago

    Why is your price so high? My nephew said he could it for $500.

    8 points
  • Peter AntoniusPeter Antonius, over 7 years ago

    Since no one said it yet:

    "Make the logo bigger"

    8 points
  • Ricardo HenriquezRicardo Henriquez, over 7 years ago

    I want it to work like Facebook, but also work like Twitter. Can you do it in 2 weeks?

    7 points
  • Andy LeverenzAndy Leverenz, over 7 years ago

    "What if we bought a theme and had you customize it? Would that save on costs?"

    6 points
  • Chris Aalid, over 7 years ago

    "No, it doesn't pay, but it'll look GREAT in your portfolio!"

    6 points
  • Yoeri HokkenYoeri Hokken, over 7 years ago

    I don't like it, paint it red - http://cl.ly/image/1p1E0Q2M1Y2Y/client-wants-change.gif

    6 points
  • Jim Silverman, over 7 years ago

    "make a few versions and we'll vote on which design we like best"

    5 points
  • pjotr .pjotr ., over 7 years ago (edited over 7 years ago )

    These comments are frightening. I think I have PTSD from previously working with clients. Scary feels.

    4 points
  • Chris Aalid, over 7 years ago

    "Could you fit in a QR code somewhere?"

    4 points
  • Andy LeverenzAndy Leverenz, over 7 years ago

    "What if we bought a theme and had you customize it? Would that save on costs?"

    3 points
  • Elliot DahlElliot Dahl, over 7 years ago

    "We'd like you to incorporate the stock photography we bought 10 years ago. We paid a lot for it then and the CEO really likes it."

    Yellowish early computers and stacks of coins communicate a cutting edge company apparently.

    2 points
  • Kemie GuaidaKemie Guaida, over 7 years ago (edited over 7 years ago )

    "I know we didn't technically pay your last invoice, but we have a great, huge new project that you'd be perfect for. Can you send us a quote?... within the next 30 minutes?"

    um... no.

    2 points
  • Ian SidawayIan Sidaway, over 7 years ago

    MD: "We can't afford that software. Just get it from the Pirate Bay."

    1 point
  • Nathan LeeNathan Lee, over 7 years ago

    "Ah, ah, I almost forgot... I'm also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too. We, uhhh, lost some people this week and we sorta need to play catch-up. Mmmmmkay? Thaaaaaanks."

    1 point
  • Jay WycheJay Wyche, over 7 years ago

    "I need you to design a logo and an app for my cat pajamas startup. We can't afford to pay you right now but it is going to be huge. We think .015% equity and the exposure will ultimately be more valuable than anything we could pay you."

    1 point
  • Ingrid HongIngrid Hong, over 7 years ago

    I don't think these two pictures (that I gave you) tell a story by the way you're placing them. Can you switch them around.

    1 point
  • E BensleyE Bensley, over 7 years ago

    "We want to move into an ios app. We were thinking of launching in three weeks. How fast can you get it running. Also you'll need to buy the equipment and we have a budget of $3000"

    0 points