Ask Me Anything: @zeldman, here

4 months ago from Jeffrey Zeldman, Principal, Creative Director

  • Nik RajpalNik Rajpal, 4 months ago

    How do you deal with heartbreak?

    9 points
    • Jeffrey Zeldman, 4 months ago

      Acceptance.

      The Serenity Prayer is pretty wise about this stuff: “Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

      Then again, there are the kinds of heartbreak where what happened is/was simply unacceptable. Like the death of a child. I don't know how those who've experienced that find the courage to go on.

      There's heartbreak and there's heartbreak. A romantic breakup nearly killed me at 21. At 50, I was stunned and distressed, but I recovered more quickly.

      Some heartbreak is inevitable. The decline and death of a parent.

      If you can possibly avoid hurting yourself, do. Reach out to friends. Ask for help. Maybe get therapy. Exercise. Do yoga.

      Don't handle heartache with booze or drugs or self-destructive behaviors. Don't hurt you to hurt the pain that is hurting you.

      It’s hard to love yourself when someone you love rejects you ... but that's when you have to learn to love yourself the most.

      I hope you are okay. I hope this helps.

      27 points