The experience ended so abruptly that it was like a speeding car coming to an immediate stop. The design problems I thought I'd spend years working on stopped being my responsibility in an instant.

I didn't want to jump to the next available design job just to keep busy. After ten years of being a workaholic, I wanted to force myself to take time off and think deeply about the meaning and direction of what I spend my efforts on.

Doing fun things that felt to my brain like work kept me sane.

As far as guilt goes, everyone on the team who needed work was able to find it quickly, so I struggled more with self doubt than with guilt.