• Michel BioMichel Bio, almost 6 years ago

    It's clean, and perhaps a site you'd expect to see from a physical product designer.

    Try to be bold with your intro text. Make the text bigger. Split it between 2 columns. Right now it feels like reading a very long horizontal sentence.

    Also, who is your audience? We the designers probably aren't your audience. Think about what your value proposition is. What value you intend to bring your target group (potential clients)? Tailor that message to support the proposition value.

    Good luck!

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    • Karen Li, almost 6 years ago

      I've made some edits to my intro, if you want to check out the changes, I'd love some more feedback!

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      • Michel BioMichel Bio, almost 6 years ago (edited almost 6 years ago )

        Hi Karen,

        Definitely better. It reads more naturally. One point of attention you could further work on: Try to focus attention on the viewer/potential client in your intro. So less 'Me' 'I' and more 'You' 'Your'.

        For example, instead of: I use human centered design principles to craft delightful experiences and innovative products.

        You could do: Getting your business (or product/service) the most delightful experiences and innovative products, using human centered design principles, is what drives me.

        Better: Formulate what 'value' you bring your client. Is 'delightful experiences' and 'innovative products' the value you're bringing?

        Again, good luck!

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